ginnyvos: Tiana (Butterfly dreaming)
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posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 11:23pm on 24/08/2009 under
Random Note: I can't be reached by phone right now.

Once upon a time, I used to be a girl who was very good at getting into other people's minds. I've always been a little too empathic and I've always been good at 'figuring people out'. People would praise me for it and told me I'd make a great psychologist. They would come to me if they had problems and I'd listen them out and, if I could, help them figure it out to my best ability. It was something I felt right doing. So, I went to study psychology at uni.

These days, I'm the obnoxious and scary psychology student who uses her evil powers of psychology-fu, mysteriously obtained during three years of reading books to look into other people's minds and haunt them with it.

Yet, I do nothing different from three years ago.

Yes, I did learn a lot in those three years. I learned a lot of statistics. I learned a lot of facts about human behaviour. I learned a lot of theories that attempt to explain those facts. What I didn't learn and don't think can be taught by books (and nothing else, because a bachelors degree in psychology is nothing but book knowledge) is to understand people much better than I already did. I might be able to name the things I see better, but that's about it.

Even so, it seems that whenever I mention the fact that I study psychology to some people, they get scared and will hardly talk to me. That, or they treat me like I'm way above them, which I'm definately not. So much so, that I have the tendency to lie about it at the daycare centers I temp at and often say I'm still in elementary teacher school instead of uni.

Whenever I make an observation that hits home these days, it seems like every time, people accuse me of psychoanalyzing them. Accuse is the right word here as well; the way it's said is like I'm doing something bad, my sister once described it as if they thought I was violating their privacy. Like I was looking into their head or something. My brother, for one, is particularly good at that.

This is something that bothers me a lot and has bothered me for some time. I don't want to be intimidating. I believe strongly in the idea that everyone has the same value to the world, be they smart or mentally retarded or just plain ordinairy, no matter their age, race, or what they did with their lives. Being in university doesn't make me better than anyone. All it does is help me prepare for what I want to do the rest of my life; Help people, children in particular, to live up to their potential and, most of all, live lives that will make them happy. Seeing people happy and having contributed to that makes me incredibly happy in return. Does that make me a better person?  No. In the end everyone is selfish and so am I.

I want to help people be happy because it happens to make me happy. If doing administration is something you like doing, than that's great (after all, I wouldn't want to do that job... Ever, so I'm really glad there's people who do want that). Same goes for a LOT of other professions.

Bottomline, it really bothers me to be looked up to or intimidate people just because I do a certain type of school. It bothers me even more when that school is thrown back in my face like it's some kind of insult when earlier having those skills was something I could be proud of.

My sister has a similar problem because she's about to start studying medicine in a week... And she's not even started. What is it with people and being so intimidated by the fact that others do a certain type of education? 

location: Bunschoten, the Netherlands
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
Music:: Metric - The Police And The Private
There are 10 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
posted by [identity profile] at 11:59pm on 24/08/2009
Well me being the kind of person that I am, I'd probably say "cool!" and start asking you questions only for the purpose of knowing things - I really like to know how things happen and work in this world, and in this particular case I'm thinking of people as things too. I always envied psychologists that they understand how a human mind works, or at least should be working. :'>

You know what happens when people ask me what I study and learn it's architecture? They ask me to build them a house. Seriously - it happens all the times. Weird. Not that I study how exactly build them, more like designing them but whatever.
In my case it's more like people tend to make me into a shining icon overflowing with talent and being someone from an upper cast. That usually intimidates me and makes me a sorry excuse for a student. >_>
posted by [identity profile] at 07:18am on 25/08/2009
Haha that's a reply I do get from most uni students or people who have done university. I just hate being regarded 'higher' or scarier by anyone, based on the fact that I happen to learn from books pretty well.

And I'd be perfectly willing to tell you all about psychology some time, especially social psychology. Social psychology ROCKS. It's about all those little quirks that people have but don't know they have.

Yah, I sometimes get people going 'oh, so I have this and this and this wrong with my/my kids/my neighbour/my wife/my whatever and what do you think? I usually just tell them that I only work with kids and failing that that I do enough of that inside school, I have NO desire to do it outside of school as well.
posted by [identity profile] at 06:28pm on 26/08/2009
Well in my country most of young people feel like they must study to get a job in the future so there are a lot of students (especially that you can study here for free if you get enough entrance points :B ) but only the prestige specializations (like medicine, architecture, lawyer) get that "upper class" treatment :'>

Cool! You feel like sharing right now? :D I love things like that! ♥

Haha very smooth Ginny~ :'D If I want to be an ass I come back with something like "You wouldn't afford it anyway." or "How about ten?" but I usually go with a simple "maybe after studies when I'm good enough"
posted by [identity profile] at 12:27am on 25/08/2009

I wouldn't hide your studies because you worry about how people see you, because it'll just cause problems if they do find out later. Whether or not they look down on you or look up to you, it really comes down to that being about them and not about you. You are who you are; if they matter, they'll get to know you and move past their first impressions of your schooling.

Btw, this has nothing to do with your post but more with your music, but I have seriously gotten into Metric this week. How random is that?
posted by [identity profile] at 02:33pm on 25/08/2009
I don't... Usually. I'm proud of what I'm studying, as I worked hard to get where I am now. And it usually helps to mention that I study child and youth psychology rather than just psychology.
I don't work with the same people any longer than a day, two or three at most. It's all just a lot easier when they're not impressed/apprehensive around me. And outside of work I don't lie at all.

And pretty random :P I rather like Metric ^^
posted by [identity profile] at 03:42pm on 25/08/2009
Also, this isn't specific advice since I don't know you in person, because you could be doing everything perfectly and it really is just another person's inferiority complex getting in the way, but you could ask a friend or family member about your delivery when you tell others about your degree.
posted by [identity profile] at 01:51am on 25/08/2009
I honestly believe this is a symptom of the human tendancy toward self centeredness. People evaluate their position within society based on those around them - they are feeling out their place in the pecking order. Their opinions are colored by experience and information (or misinformation), stereotypes and a plethora of other factors.

Doctors of any sort are all intelligent, well educated, respected and 'above' the general population as a mass generalization. Their specialty places them in a god-like role therefore lay people almost treat them as such because they believe the hype.

Most people would be embarrassed or feel a great personal failing if they HAD to go to a 'head shrink'. Mental illness still has persistant and brutally negative stereotypes. Even your sister seems to feel that casually 'being read' by a psychiatrist is a taint on her reputation. So very defensive.

I agree with GL - don't lie about it. Give them the whole truth - you are studying to be a child psychologist. The 'child' part may actually put some people at ease. After all, THEY aren't children...

And I really think the same goes in ANY profession. It's just that your chosen one tends to put people on the defensive. I work with plants and as soon as people find out, I get every garden question under the sun from people I've literally JUST met. And they have NO compunctions with trying to tie up my time for an hour to get the answers they want.

Self centeredness again.

People evaluate other people for what they can do for them. We all do it to some degree. Most people are just blind enough to not even realize they do it.

Of course, you have the book knowledge to back up or refute everything I just said but hey... you write these things for opinions, right?! So there you have it. :)
posted by [identity profile] at 02:38am on 25/08/2009
Don't hide who you are my dear, and who you are (from your posts and pictures and talent) is a wonderful person. The thought of your studies might intimidate them a little but that is human nature I guess. If they like hanging with you, they'll have to get over themselves. It isn't for you to worry overmuch about it.

I'd go dancing with you any day ... you look like it would be a tonne of fun!!!
posted by [identity profile] at 05:50am on 25/08/2009
It's annoying, I know. The unspoken 'wow you're so smart' in everyone you meet... Well yes, I am smart, but what has that got to do with the price of eggs in Hamburg? Exactly, nothing.

The other thing you describe, though, I get in reverse. While people tend to shy away from you & your mad psycho-analyzing skillzzz, they come to me as if I were a physician already and unashamedly tell me all of their medical problems. Worst I've heard: genital warts. Thank you, I did NOT need to know this. So you'd best warn your sis about this stupid tendency to treat even first-years as if they were doctors. I usually just say 'I don't know, if you're bothered by it go to your doc.'
posted by [identity profile] at 02:49pm on 26/08/2009
I can't help but find it interesting. You're lucky I'm not more on or I'd made you go insane with all my questions, LOL.

Don't hide who you are and what you do. True friends accept you as you are!




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