ginnyvos: Tiana (Butterfly Dancing)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 01:21pm on 27/09/2011 under ,
I have... Not had the easiest life one might have. I've been through a lot of things and if you make a pro's and cons list I'm pretty sure it'd end in the negative... And yet...

And yet when I look back, I feel I've had a happy childhood.

Because, and really, these are words I've lived by since I was too young to understand that I was; life is what you make it.

Being happy, having a happy life, isn't about good or bad things happening. It's about what you do to deal with them. It's about choosing to have a glass half-full rather than half-empty. And yes, I say choosing. Because this is a choice. It's a choice I make each and every time something sucky happens. Feel crappy, get a hug, reletivate, find the humour, laugh about it and move on. Cherish the good and not the bad.

It's a lesson some people in my life right now might do well learning. It's frustrating to see them focussing on the bad and let all the good just slip away. It's even more frustrating that they won't or can't let me help them see it. They'll get through it though :)
Mood:: 'pensive' pensive
Music:: Sara Bareilles
ginnyvos: Tiana (Butterfly watching you)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 02:50pm on 04/07/2011 under ,
My mom has taken up doing crisis fostercare a while back (basically means they call you to ask if you have the space and time to have another fosterkid and somewhere between an hour and a couple of days later there's the kid standing on your doorstep. They usually stay between 3 and 6 months, although officially they aren't supposed to stay for more than 3 months while stuff gets sorted out and either they return home, or move on to a permanent fosterfamily. Hardly ever happens in time, sadly.)

Right now, she has two brothers of 8 and 10, who'll move back home after summer. They are genuinely sweet boys, but have very obviously grown up in the lowest social class of society. It's very interesting to see them adapt to our family which is, while not upper class, higher middle class at least.

A while back, we were all watching the news and there was an item about the legalisation of gay-marriage in New York. I reacted happily and my mom nodded her approval. One of them asked why it was necessary to let retards or idiots marry. Turns out they only knew it as a insult. Obviously, I explained it to them and we got to talk about how it's really pretty normal for a boy to fall in love with a boy and a girl to fall in love with a girl, and that it would be really mean not to let them marry, since they loved each other. I think they did get the gist of it.

Sometimes I forget how incredibly lucky I am to have grown up in the family I grew up with. Had I been born into, say, the family those two boys come from, I wouldn't have been half the woman I am now. Oftentimes when judging people for the way they act and think, we forget that we are shaped by our past. It's not those kids' fault that they're so ignorant, but if I'd caught either of them using 'homo' as an insult, he'd get a very stern talking to in the very least. If he was 10 years older than he's now and I'd caught him using it as an insult, I'd have looked down on him, judged him or gotten pretty damn angry. But how the hell is he to know that it's wrong if no one explains to him why it's perfectly normal for people to be homosexual and that there's nothing insulting about being 'homo'?
Music:: Exquisse - Hungrois gu'on danse
Mood:: 'aggravated' aggravated
ginnyvos: Tiana (A naaien muis)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 06:55pm on 03/04/2011 under ,
 For starters; Between May and September last year I lost 15 kilo's. Since September I've gained 5 back. So no, in the last couple of months I have not lost weight. As a matter of fact, I've gained! Yet, especially the last couple of months, I've been asked if I'd lost weight more often than in the months that I was actually losing weight. You can imagine both my surprise and my amusement and, scientist/psychologist that I am, I wanted to figure out why.

Except for weight, I've gained some other things though. Mainly a bucket load of self-confidence. Ever since I started my internship two months ago, I've been feeling a lot better about myself and the world at large. I feel better about my ability to make it in the world, to realize my ambitions and dreams and just generally to make it in the big scary 'adult world'. This 'feeling good about yourself' thing seems to have spilled over into other areas of my life as well and I think in general you could say I just feel a lot better at home in my own skin.

And it shows. I stand up straight, hold my head up high and my shoulders righted because I Am Good. I Am (as a matter if fact) Awesome. And Screw You if you don't agree. This has nothing to do with weight whatsoever. Had I not lost those 15 (now 10) kilos I'm sure the same thing would have applied... And people would still be asking me if I lost weight.
Mood:: 'amused' amused
ginnyvos: Tiana (Default)
Thursday we had a congress and since the company I do my internship at is among the organizers I got to go for free. Yay! Cool speakers, amazingly luxury food and even a cool certificate by the end. The topic was multiculturalism in mental health care, so interesting too.

One of the workshops was given by my direct boss and one of the other psychologists from my division and of course I got planned in with them. So basically we were talking about the differences between how an 11 year old Moroccan boy might see my white, male boss and Moroccan, female colleague.
Yeah.  And of course I have to be the one to come out and say "White, older, man". The whole room was in stitches. He turned right red. And my mouth, without consulting my brain, decided to dig the grave a little deeper and tell him; "Well, you're not twenty anymore..."
Music:: Sky Radio
Mood:: 'embarrassed' embarrassed
location: Home
ginnyvos: Tiana (Butterfly Dancing)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 11:16am on 12/03/2011 under
 Am sitting on my balcony in my PJ's enjoying the morning (alright almost midday) sun and not being cold... Gods I love spring. <3

Spring, lazy Saturday mornings, sun, chocolate, tea, a balcony facing south and friends... Life doesn't get much better form here.

So what are you doing this fine Saturday morning?
Music:: Caro Emerald - Sitting in the middle of nowhere
Mood:: 'complacent' complacent
location: Utrecht, balcony
ginnyvos: Tiana (PMK Sucks to be me)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 09:43pm on 03/03/2011 under
Alright, so I'm bloody terrified.

Right now I'm reformatting and reinstalling my notebook from my friend's external harddrive... It's like giving up your baby girl  to some experimental treatment that might make its quality of life that much better... And might just kill it.

.... Oh and by the way, you'll need to do the surgery yourself with only a vague idea of where the heart and lungs are supposed to be.
Mood:: 'scared' scared
location: Rian's room
Music:: Michael Bublé
ginnyvos: Tiana (Default)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 10:55am on 18/02/2011 under
I should be in the library reading articles for my thesis all day. So far today I have...

- Folded old laundry
- Sorted out new laundry and put in the machine
- polished my nails with so-called caring nailpolish
- Cleaned up room to a level of neatness it hasn't been since I moved in
- Sorted out paperwork and put it in order of importance
- Cleaned up my bags (what was my D4 dice doing in my backpack? :S)
- Sorted my bookcases in attempt to make them adapt to books beyond their capacity
- Finished book I'd been lying around with the last couple of pages unread for over a month
- Gathered stuff to back my weekend back
- Emailed friends+housemates with a proposition about dinner tonight
- Hung out on facebook
- Put away trash
- Filled bucket with water for cleaning my room (off to do that now!)

Hey, most of this stuff did need to get done and has been in need of getting done for ages! Seems not wanting to do something else is the best way to get there?

(Not half as much as the work on my masterthesis but one can't have anything).
Music:: Sky Radio
Mood:: 'Amused at self' Amused at self
location: Utrecht
ginnyvos: Tiana (Default)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 08:42am on 17/02/2011 under
I know many of you can still bathe in snow, but here the first signs of spring are starting to show. The sun is shining more often, the temperatures don't go under 0 during the day and, most important, green buts and the first flowers of spring are breaking earth and bark. These couple of weeks, when winter is still trying to cling on but spring is undermining it in more and more ways, is always glorious.

It seems to me that the length of seasons is just right; just long enough for me to be incredibly grateful that the next one is coming, but never long enough to get so throughly sick of them that I will not be looking forward to them next year.
Mood:: 'hopeful' hopeful
location: Utrecht
ginnyvos: Tiana (Butterfly dreaming)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 08:22am on 14/02/2011 under
It's monday morning, 8 o'clock, I'm at the station waiting for the train to get to my internship and I am absolutely content.

Had a wonderful quiet weekend staying over at my friends' place. We did nothing but watch Glee, House and the movie Evita, play games, dance a bit and just relax. I needed a weekend to recharge and I did.

My mom went to Germany for a long weekend with my siblings and it's been ages since I saw her as refreshed as when she came home yesterday. Since she's been borderline burned out for over a year now that was about as energizing as the whole rest of the weekend put together.

Btw, happy valentines to those of you who celebrate!

Ok, gonna stop typing now; my hands are freezing!
location: Amersfoort Central Station
Mood:: 'happy' happy
ginnyvos: Tiana (Saiyuki Gojyo Hakkai kiss)
posted by [personal profile] ginnyvos at 10:02pm on 04/02/2011 under

The best gifts are often the ones you never asked for... I got a mysterious package in the mail and... Wow. Just wow. [ profile] draelynnthered , words words fail me. Thank you so, so, so very much. Seriously... She made me this gorgeous little Gojyo out of felt (that's what I think it is in English anyway)! He's absolutely adorable and the crappy picture really doesn't do him justice... He's hanging above my bed now and... Well <3, just <3. Thank you so, so much.

Also, much too late but no less heart-felt; Thank everyone who sent me christmas cards. They have held a place of honour in my bookcase until just today, and I loved getting them even if I didn't have the time and energy to send my own this year.
Music:: Sky Radio
Mood:: 'grateful' grateful
location: Utrecht



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