Fic: Blind Date (Sanzo style)

[ginnyvos]

~Blind Date~
by ginnyvos[Unknown site tag]
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Saiyuki
Series: None
Summary: Hakkai sends Sanzo on a blind date in order to get him laid.
Pairings: GojyoxSanzo
Warnings: Swearing, drunkness and mentions of sex, total, utter, complete CRACK
Disclaimer: Saiyuki belongs to Kazuya Minekura... Didn’t steal them! Just borrowed ;)
Authors Note: For befanini’s birthday because she is awesome. Inspired by this (, because how the hell is Sanzo winning over Gojyo? (All go vote for Gojyo!)Who would date Sanzo… Or rather, who would survive a date with Sanzo?) I really had way too much fun writing this XD

~*~

“And she was like, o em gee you know? Double-U tee ef did you do to your pants! That is like, so totally lame! And than I was like, talk to the hand, you know, that is so totally retro and so totally hot, you know! And than we got to the party you know and she like, so stuck out because her pants where like, so totally out! And I was like…”

Sanzo had stopped listening and started glared at the woman in front of him about five minutes ago, but she didn’t seem to notice. He tried to keep it in. Really, he ttried, but the twit in front of him was just that, a bimbo and a twit. Stupid, enourmous boobs almost falling out of her shirt, platinum blond, and babbling on about something or other that he didn’t even hear anymore.

“Shut up or die…” he growled, hands itching to take the gun out.

She didn’t shut up. Actually, she probably didn’t even hear him. Instead, she just babbled on.

In a desperate search for distraction from putting a bullet between her eyes, he looked over the room in search for his companion. Who was going to end up like, SO dead once he got out of here. Totally. Or something.

Hakkai, of course, was nowhere to be seen. Apparently the man had enough sense of self-preservation to not be here. Not where Sanzo could see him at least.

“And than I was like, double-u tee ef, you know? ‘Cause, like, no one has the right to insult my nails! They are like, totally beautiful, you know?”

Without another word, Sanzo got up and walked to the bar. He could and would not stand another minute of that, the woman was pure torture.

 

“I want a drink. A strong drink. I don’t care what it is, as long as there’s enough alcohol in it to knock a fucking horse out,” Sanzo stated, looking up at the bartender with bleary eyes.

The tall redhead grinned at him. “Things not goin’ your way?”

“Stupid bitch wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I need alcohol goddamn it… Need to kill Hakkai…”

“Riiiight… Sorry I even asked, here’s your vodka.

 

He was drunk. Soooo fucking drunk. Drunk enough that he didn’t fucking care he was drunk. Drunk enough that he didn’t even care that the red-head barman, Gojyo his name was, had made a pass on him several times now. Also drunk enough that he didn’t care that said barman was just about fucking the blond twit from earlier right there in front of him. At least it shut her up. If not, he really would’ve shot her. Or if he hadn’t been so fucking drunk. The bullets where in the ceiling somewhere on the other end of the room – where her head had seemed to be at the time – to prove it.

Ok so maybe he did care. Maybe he was drunk enough for that, too. Because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t ‘ve been thinking the man was fucking hot and the twit didn’t deserve him if he’d been sober. Make that very sure. But damn the man was hot. He took another gulp of bottle to that – Gojyo had been nice enough to just leave the bottle out for him rather than bother giving him new shots every ten seconds – before getting to his feet, rather unstable but to his feet nonetheless, and walking over to the two. He gave the twit a push, or rather, he just let himself fall against her, conveniently throwing her from Gojyo’s lap in the process.

The twit was on the ground, yelling at him, probably something with a lot of so’s, totally’s and like’s, but he didn’t pay attention to her. Instead, he looked up and right into red eyes. He was drunk enough that he wasn’t even surprised over them. Though the faint thought did occur that he should be, it was quickly chased away by the rather foggy thought that they where pretty.

Gojyo said something, but it didn’t really register and than they where kissing, and Sanzo was just drunk enough that he thought didn’t bother him all that much. Maybe this was what Hakkai meant when he said this would be good for him. That he needed to get laid. Probably not. He didn’t care what Hakkai meant really.

His last thought before he let Gojyo drag him to some backroom was that, maybe, Hakkai wouldn’t be ‘so dead’ anyway.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

*giggles loudly* Ah! I feelm ashamed knowing too havwe words I repet into endless annoyance on others *giggles* 'youknowyouknowyouknow' ^^

It was funny! (I would have shot her :-p )

[ulvarmarson.livejournal.com]

sorry, this was me. I forgot to log in.

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

Oh I have that kind of words too... don't worry, it was just like, so totally funny to write you know?

[ulvarmarson.livejournal.com]

Yeah! And it was so totally awsomly cool to read, you know? Its like it was totally written by a pro you know! ^^*like kisses, you know*

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

That is like, such a sweet thing you say, you know. It's like, totally sweet! But of course you are like, so sweet, so I guess that is like, totally obvious you know?


(*like kisses, you know* *cracks up and dies laughing*)

[ulvarmarson.livejournal.com]

I Know, you know! But you are like, the totally SO sweetest of us two, you know! Its like, impossible to describe, you know.
(*like glomps you, you know, SO never going to let go, you know* )

*OMG! Having problems breathing due to intencive Laughting*