Sky Castle

Random Note: Check back tomorrow for a little Christmas something everyone! ^___^ 

The Ten Years Meme. I stole it from eyesofshinigami , who is awesome by the way.


Then: December 1999

1. Age: 11 years old

2. Romantic Status: Not even too interested in anything yet... Not even in the princes and/or princesses of my books, if I recall (I reread a book that I read back than some time ago, to find out that I'd completely forgotten about the romantic scenes, I was only interested in the adventure)

3. Occupation: 8th group of elementary school (normal here) student. I was no more than everage, far less than that for language related subjects.

4. Fun night out: Hanging out at Scouting

5. My BFFs: Nikita and Faye. Make that only friends.

6. I spent way too much time: Reading and hiding out in the library, being scared of the girls in my class.

7. I spent not enough time: Being confident with myself.

8. I wanted to be when I grew up: A librarian or a bookstore cleric. I'd never heard of Good Omens back then but I wanted Aziraphale's shop more than anything. Or, if possible, a hero in a story of my own.

9. Biggest concern: Being bullied and fat and doing anything wrong and thus being bullied more.

10. What my biggest concern should have been: I think I was pretty much right being worried about being bullied, but I should've ratted them out to the teachers and then stayed far away from them.

11. Where did I live: The Hague, the Netherlands... The big city!

12. Dumbest thing I did that year: Letting those bullies get to me.

13. If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: Don't worry, you'll work out better than any of them. You haven't been able to see it yourself yet, but you're stronger and smarter and you're much, much sweeter. Just keep dreaming and in half a year, youll be out of there!


Now: December 2009

1. Age: 21.

2. Romantic Status: Single, but looking for a long term relationship. I don't mind if I find that in a girl or a boy.

3. Occupation: University student in child and youth psychology, following courses in law, pedagogy, criminology, psychology and mathematics this year and essentially already passed for my bachelors degree. Otherwise I work one or two days in day care centers all over the region and am apparently pretty damn good at it. I'm also learning to drive a car.

4. Fun night out: Balfolk! A good folk band and a room full of good dancers, with a break halfway to eat all the home made food everyone's braught!

5. My BFFs: <lj user="h_johanna"> first and foremost, but also Ria, Nikita (yes the same one from 10 years ago), Ilona, Leonie and a bunch of you guys on here!

6. I spend way too much time: Online, reading (some things never change) and procastrating. Also, any time I spend not  believing in myself and wondering if I'm not good enough is too much.

7. I spend not enough time: Being creative and reading actual books I want to read. Also, working for school.

8. I want to be when I grow up: A good child and youth psychologist, a good mother and a good fostermother. Mainly though, I want to be someone who makes a difference in the world and who, in 50 years, can say 'I am content with what I've done and who I've been'.

9. Biggest concern: Being ill too much and not being able to find someone to love who'll love me in return as well as put up with me wanting a big family.

10. What my biggest concern should be: Probably finding a job once I've graduated in one and a half year and my health.

11. Where do I live: Bunschoten, the Netherlands (small, christian town)

12. Dumbest thing I have done this year: That might just be falling for a girl who lives on the other side of the freaking ocean... At least it was mutual.

13. What I think I would say to myself in 10 years: Relax, you're much more attractive than you give yourself credit for.

Summary:

1. What do I miss most from 1999: Being able to read and disappear into stories as much as I did back then. It was out of neccessity, yes, but it was still an amazing feeling. Also, being able to stay up till deep into the night reading, without a concern in the world.

2. What do I miss least from 1999: The bullies and the constant worry about what they'd do to me next. Also, the fact that my selfconfidence at the time was nonexist.

3. What have I accomplished in 10 years that I am most proud of: I've grown and learned so, so much and if I'm honest I'm very proud of me. Half a year later I went to highschool, where I entered as the quiet, scared little girl so, so scared of being seen and heard, of being bullied and really of other people in general. In my own eyes I was nothing. In the upcoming years I learned to have confidence in myself and in the people around me, learned to use my experiences in elementary school to make myself a better and stronger person. I built selfconfidence and I rebuilt myself and honestly? I'm pretty content with who I am now, and maybe that's my biggest accomplishment. I know I'm an intelligent, worthy, loving, fun, interesting, caring, creative person capable of most things she puts her mind to. And if I sometimes relaps, I still know that tomorrow or the next day I'll be good again.

4. What have I NOT accomplished in 10 years that I wish I had: Lose some weight and have a lasting relationship it's really one of the very few things I didn't manage to do. Sure, there have been things along the way that I've been disappointed in myself for, but they were water under the bridge... But then again, in 10 years these might be water under the bridge as well.


All in all I'm amazed at how much I've grown and how much has happened and changed since then. When I went to highschool 9 and a half years ago, my grades suddenly went through the roof, and not a year after that I was making friends and didn't flinch when classmates cracked jokes and was participating and healing. Scouting was a big part in my life and from the little sister I became the one all the others would turn to when they had problems and The Internet came, I started writing stories on a Dutch Harry Potter forums and got very popular. I met many wonderful people. Then when I was fifteen I moved, and for me that came just at the right time because I'd grown out of the old role patterns I was stuck in at that moment and it gave me the oppurtunity to build a new me in a new place. I had my first boyfriend (all very innocent at 15) and found out I liked girls. I made up my mind that I wanted to be a child and youth psychologist and set out to do just that. That was just five years. The last five years I've had my fair share of problems and growing but I've been building off of that.