Sky Castle

Random Note: I've got a new imaginary friend; my sister made him for me. His name is Henry and he knows everything!

Hmmm going to spam you with a bunch of pictures! First of all, as promised to befanini   ; Me as a fairy on the elf fantasy fair two weeks ago:


Also, I finally got myself a bookcloset! This was neccesary. Very much so. The plank holding my books was full... And than I mean full: as in, there was a row of book from beginning to end, and another row of books on those books. When I was in the process of making room for the closet I decided I'd clean up and change the rest of that wall too and I'm so happy with the result! So I decided If I'd spam you guys with pictures, I'd just as well show you my room too... So here you go! ^-^


Short drabble I wrote in the pub last week under influence of a lot of angry music and very little sleep:

You act like you're so awesome,
Gentleman yet cool,
Took care of every single thing,
Left me to play the fool.

You seemed to good to be existing,
Perfect in every single way,
Always the best at everything,
But now I can rightly say;

You may think that you're perfect,
Know all there is to know,
But to me you're nothing,
But a stupid faker freak-show!

Random Note: Love really does make people act like idiots and do things they'd never do while fully sane... But is that really so bad?

Hmmm random poem sprouted from me going over a conversation with my sister yesterday. It still mystifies me how I can fall in love this deeply without ever having met that person... So how am I to explain it to her? Hell, being as hetro as she is, she doesn't even understand how I could ever fall for another girl... Let be someone like the one I've fallen for now. Oh well... She can fall for someone after knowing that person for no more than a few days... That is something I don't understand. We're just fundamentally different, the two of us... But I still like her a lot ^-^

~*~

You ask me?

You ask me how I can love,
Her the way I do.
I tell you I don’t know,
I only know it’s true.
 
You ask me how I stand,
Not having Her around,
I tell you I don’t know,
But that She is what I found.

You ask me how I can feel,
Without having seen,
I tell you I can’t help it,
Things are just as they have been.

You ask me how I love,
And than declare me mad,
I tell you I don’t know,
But that my love for Her is set.

Random Note: An imagination is like a pair of wings;  It can get you anywhere but if it breaks you crash down, yet reality can be a whole lot harder than the ground.

Hmmm I guess 50 is as good a number to start with as any don't you think? I'm not going to keep to the order of the list anyway.
So, a poem, to start with. Inspired by Petra Berger music. She is amazing, I swear, though her music can have a very depressive effect if listened to non-stop. Am having a headache and am tired due to lack of sleep and exame-stress, thus the kinda depressed poem.

50 ghost,  Word by Marianne (ulvarmarson,  Ulvar)

~*~

Lies

Shadow touches, shadow whispers,

Too light to be real,

Shadow lips and shadow fingers,

Can not trust the things I feel.

 

Can not believe the things I’m hearing,

Whispered in a familiar voice,

Can not trust the things I’m thinking,

Though there never really was a choice.

 

Shadow lips are pressed on mine,

All I do is close my eyes,

Because when I feel those shadow lips,

I can almost believe my lies.

 

Shadow touches, shadow whispers,

Too light to be real,

Shadow lips and shadow fingers,

Can not trust the things I feel.

 

I can almost believe you never left me,

Can almost believe you are still here,

Can almost see you with closed eyes,

You, ghost of the one I held so dear.

 

And I wish I was better at telling lies.

~*~

Let me know what you think of it?

So in the end it really was
Nothing but dreams,
Dreams to be crushed
Dreams to be tossed away,
Like the wings of a butterfly,
Taken away.

I try not to fall,
Really I do,
Try to keep strong,
But when you take my wings,
my colors, my dreams,
Than how can I fly,
How can I see that trough?

Well that basically describes how I feel right now... With some additions.
I failed my geography. Again. And I thought I'd passed. Again. And now there's a huge chance I can't attend to universety. Wich means I can't do psychology. Or atleast nog for the year to come.
I have an appointment with my geography teacher. Gods I hope there's some way for me to pass the exame anyway, or get a few more points so I do pass. Gods I hope so... Please PLEASE let there me some way to pass it anyway. At this point I'd give about anything for that.

I feel so empty right now. And tired. VERY tired. But I don't want to go to sleep. Basically I'm just hoping someone who I can talk to comes online... Marianne or Rian or Ilona or someone like that. Wich they are not doing.

I need to go and study for my tests tomorrow. But I just feel so fucked up... I really really thought I'd passed it! Ok and now I'm about to cry. Again. This is so majorly fucked up.
I have absolutely no idea what I've got no idea what I'm going to do if I don't pass that test and hence don't get to do psychology. I really don't.

Figured I could just as well upload this here, too... I really like the rhyme-scheme... It's more or less an experiment and I have to say I like it... I was kind of down yesterday due to a phone-call that morning... And this came out.

Walk away
I wish that I could walk away,
Be done with it and walk away,
Just not care and walk away,
Instead of pretending I’m ok.

I wish I could make up my mind,
But as I try,
It’s more confusion that I find.

I wish that I knew what to do,
But along the way,
I found that I can’t handle you.

I wish you would just leave me be,
But as you don’t,
I found you’re just to much for me.

And I wish that I could walk away,
Be done with it and walk away,
Just not care and walk away,
But I can’t and thus I stay.

I really look forward to today! ^^ I have this old jeans, and I'm going to re-style them... Kind of... I think I'll take pictures of the whole process and put them online here... ^^

Well, yet another page in english, as I'm gonna post this at DeviantArt as well...

There are finally signs that I'm kinda getting over my artblock... *Yippie!!!*
Today I made a drawing of a tower, after reading a little story of a friend of mine... Well, as it was just a sketch I have worked it out and am now coloring my second sketch whit watercolors... It feels so nice to draw again ^.^ Specially as I haven't drawn anything but some silly chibi's since I'm off to school... I hate it...

My storytelling starts going the right way to... And today I wrote a poam... It's nothing really good, but it's alright I guess and it shurly is better than the nothing that came outa my hands lately... :)

Perfect nor beautiful I am,
Smart nor funny or beloved,
Not to talented or special I am,
In the background, never stepping forth,
That is where I am
But always hoping, I am,
That there is someone who will see,
That there is also something good in me...

http://www.deviantart.com/view/10928837/ is my painting... It didn't really turned out fine (which is the reason I putted it in my scraps) but it's OK I guess and I'm really glad that it is there... ;)

Well, that was it for today :)...

xXx GinN